The Insomniac’s New Year’s Resolutions

There’s no doubt 2020 was a difficult and challenging year for everyone. We lost loved ones, suffered major financial losses and went from one lockdown to the next never knowing when we would be allowed to see our nearest and dearest, again. 

Our children stopped going to in-person school. We stopped traveling, eating out or going to the movies. Gyms, hair salons, and any other services not deemed essential for survival, closed. And, as a result, many of us decided to forgo self-care and focussed on adapting and surviving.  We adapted. And we got through it. Amidst the chaos, there was beauty. We came together and strengthened the bonds we have with our families and neighbors. 

And, even though I knew things wouldn’t get better overnight, a part of me hoped they would and I welcomed 2021 with joy and relief.

Now that the new year is off to a bumpy start, it’s obvious things didn’t get better overnight. In fact, I think I can say with certainty that everything got worse. So, now what? We keep moving forward, that’s what. A few days ago, while listening to a meditation by Roger Gabriel on the Chopra app, Gabriel reminded us of the Oscar Wilde quote, “We’re all in the gutter. But some of us are looking at the stars.” In essence, we’re all struggling through these difficult times together, but despite the challenges ahead, some of us chose to remain positive and stay focused on our dreams and goals. The new year is still a time of hope, transformation and renewal. We got through 2020 and we will get through 2021, stronger, healthier and more focused than ever.

And whether your goals for the new year have to do with your health, finances, love life, relationships, travel or personal growth – getting more and better sleep will help you – and me – achieve those goals. Things always seem brighter after a good night’s sleep. So, rather than stressing about achieving a laundry list of goals we’ll likely abandon by mid-February, let’s start by getting better and more sleep, shall we?

2021 Resolutions for More and Better Sleep

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1. I will prioritise sleep over the news, the latest tv series and social media

With everything that’s going on in the world, it’s easy to get caught in a downward spiral of bad news and negativity. Put a time limit on the amount of news you watch. Most networks repeat the same news cycle every hour anyway. Heck put a time limit on the amount of time you spend staring at screens, period. It’s too easy to stare blankly at the tube, your laptop or phone for hours and all that blue light really messes with your circadian rhythm. Time limiters are most often used to monitor the amount of time children spend on their devices, but there’s no reason they can’t be used for adults. Just make sure someone else is the keeper of the “secret” code.

2. I will turn off all devices an hour before bed

Now that you’ve set a time limit on the amount of time you spend watching TV, surfing the web and trolling Instagram, go the extra mile and give yourself a hard out with all of your devices. Ie: The TV goes off at 9 p.m. All devices are off at 10 p.m. “But, that’s how I relax!”, you protest. I’m not telling not to do those things. Just be more mindful about when and how much media you consume. And if, after turning off all your device, you still crave some form of entertainment, opt for podcasts or sleep stories instead. Invest in a pair of sleep headphones, close your eyes and let your mind drift off.

Sleep headphones are comfortable, wireless and you can sleep with them on, even if you’re a side sleeper.  (I have a pair of these ones in black and I love them.) They don’t block outside sounds so if you’re like me and you still want to be able to hear what’s going on around you (like a child calling for you in the middle of the night) these are perfect. 

3.  I will journal to declutter my mind

Journaling can help you put ideas to bed, jot down notes about the best and worst parts of your day and let go of the things that are still stressing you out, making you angry or sad. If you’re not much of a writer, there’s no need to be put off by the idea of writing. Journals like The Nocturnal Journal include prompts to help you explore what’s keeping you up at night, and why. Delve into your thoughts, questions, anxiety, and half-formed creative ideas that need unpacking and exploring. 

And if all this journaling seems a bit too woo-woo and self-indulgent for you, try Zen as F*ck or F*ck This Shit Show: A Gratitude Journal for Tired-*ss Women. The books are funny and down to earth and include amusing prompts such as A-hole of the Day…, Today I’m Proud I Didn’t…,  Today, I’m Happy I Did…, I’m Lucky To Have…and more.

4. I will read

Another good activity to help your brain wind down is settling in with a good book. Reading allows your muscles to relax and slows down your breathing, leaving you feeling calmer.

A 2009 study from researchers at the University of Sussex showed that six minutes of reading reduces stress by 68% (more relaxing than either music or a cup of tea), thus clearing the mind and readying the body for sleep. The reasoning, according to psychologist and study author Dr. David Lewis is that a book is “more than merely a distraction, but an active engaging of the imagination,” one that “causes you to enter an altered state of consciousness.”

5. I will meditate every night for 10 minutes before bed

I can already see some of you rolling your eyes at this one. Try it before you knock it! Meditating doesn’t have to mean sitting cross legged and chanting “om” while you stare at a candle. For some of us, trying to still your mind, is like trying to put a dress on a cat or a harness on a hamster. Hillarious? Yes. Pointless. Most definitely. Sleep apps like Calm and Moshi as well as meditation apps like Headspace have night (and daytime) meditations that range in length from 3 to 20 minutes. All you have to do is close your eyes and listen. 

Or explore the power of positive thinking and improve your self-esteem and interpersonal relationships with simple daily exercises, mantras and reflections like the ones in A Year of Positive Thinking: Daily Inspiration, Wisdom, and Courage.

6. I will call, text or write one person a day to tell them I am thinking of them

It’s amazing how good reaching out to someone can make you feel. Old friends you’ve lost touch with, relatives you haven’t seen in a while, friends and family you can’t see because of the lockdown – all it takes is five minutes to send a text or, better yet, write a postcard. Personally, I’m a huge fan of the latter.  There’s something very old school and special about snail mail. And it doesn’t have to be a slog. A quick “Thinking of You” can really brighten someone’s day. And you don’t have to go to the post office to get stamps anymore. You can get everything from domestic to global stamps on Amazon.

7. I will treat myself to new sheets, new pajamas, and a comfy pillow

According to the UK site Dreams, we spend 26 years sleeping and another 7 years trying to go to sleep throughout our lifetime. That’s 33 years of our lives spent in bed! If that’s not a good enough reason to spend money on high-end hotel-style sheets, luxurious sleepwear and a superior pillow, I don’t know what is. 

8. I will turn my bedroom into a soothing oasis

Many of us think nothing of spending close to a thousand dollars on a new smart phone because we use our phones all – of – the – time. Amortized over three of four years, a thousand-dollar phone costs less than a dollar a day, right? Well, the same goes for an excellent mattress. Even if you’re the worst sleeper around and that you only spend five hours a night actually sleeping, and another one or two hours a night tossing and turning, wouldn’t you rather be doing that in a comfortable bed? 

The average mattress lasts about 7 to 10 years.  Now take a good, long look at your mattress. How long have you had it? Do you even remember buying it? Ir’s probably older than you care to admit.  Maybe you’re thinking, “It’s good enough.” Is it sagging in the middle? Time to get a new one.  Do you wake up with a sore back every day? You’re not just getting older, you have a crappy mattress.  Too soft? Time for a new mattress. Too hard? Same.  You’re not a student anymore. It’s time for a new mattress. Worried you’ll buy the wrong thing and then be stuck with it? Most reputable mattress places will send you a mattress and take it back, no questions asked, if you’re not 100% satisfied. 

A few years ago, my husband and I splurged on a Purple Mattress. At the time, it seemed like a huge expense and a bit of an over-indulgence.  Then the mattress came and sleeping on it felt like floating on a cloud. Best. Purchase. Ever. 

9. I will not beat myself up if/when I fall off my “better-sleep” wagon

According to research conducted by Strava, the social network for athletes, the second Friday in January is known as Quitters’ Day because it’s the most likely day for people to give up on their new year resolutions. Last year, Quitter’s Day was January 10. This year, it was January 8. So if you’re reading this, congratulations! You either haven’t given up on your NY’s resolutions, yet, or you’re just getting around to making some. 

Remember, January 1^st, is just an arbitrary date to start making changes. You will fall off your better sleep wagon. If and when you do, acknowledge your triggers, and get back on.

And last, but not least, tell yourself:

10. I am deserving of deep, nourishing and relaxing sleep

Whatever work or task you think absolutely needs to be completed now, it can wait until tomorrow. Falling short of your sleep, diet, parenting, career or financial goals? Silence your inner critic. These things take time.Take a hot bath, lie down in your bedroom oasis, meditate, journal or listen to a sleep story and release this day. 

Sweet dreams! Keep me posted on your better sleep journey.